On Valentine's day this year in February, I was so upset, driving along randomly, getting more and more upset about losing Dave and not knowing how to be able to move on and "get better" for the sake of my children, I suddenly heard Dave's voice from the passenger seat saying, " Draw this darling"

I stopped the car so shocked, and grabbed a piece of paper from the footwell and a pen and began to try and draw what he was showing me right in front of my face.

My kids will tell you I cant draw to save my life, but what i drew was clearly a house. I drew everything that Dave was showing me - the leaded windows, the windows in the roof, the tree out front.... i was so excited and heard Dave say !"this is your new home"

I couldnt wait to pick up the children from school and show them. I told them it was our house in america that we would one day live in. It stayed pinned on the fridge ever since as my incentive and promise that Dave was moving us forward.

After that, for weeks, I kept hearing him say " San Antonio" to the point where he was beginning to drive me mad. I had never heard of such place and didnt understand. Until, that is, work enquiries came from......... yep........ San Antonio, Texas.

Me and the children were all so excited and couldnt wait to go there and see the place for ourselves.

We spent 4 amazing weeks touring different states with The Faulkner Tarot Deck and Brian's Deck.

We got to San Antonio first and stayed in a hotel. Met some lovely lovely people connected to the church out there where I was working, that felt like family and that we had known each other for years, but had actually only met there and then. I have to admit, I was a bit worried whilst in downtown that Dave would want us to live there, as it didnt feel like a place i could raise my children - remember I am a country girl :) and this was more like a big city.

UNTIL....... we drove to the church.. all around it, were houses that looked  EXACTLY like the drawing......

So much so, that I went straight to an estate agent out there and enquired about houses. What an amazing and helpful guy ! He instantly began searching properties, based on my picture that I emailed to him the day I got home.

I trust my Dave that much, that I put my house on the market as soon as we got home and I told the kids we were moving to Texas. They we so excited and all desperate for a fresh new start and a chance to rebuild our lives.

I sold the house, and ALL our furniture and belongings ( de-cluttering to the extreme) just leaving our clothes and mattresses to sleep on , oh and a few toys for Dan the man :) and rented a house nearby.

End of august, I began to get dreams of a kitchen that I knew was in the right house. I kept dreaming of the same part of the kitchen too over and over.

Daves messages were so strong and I have trusted him 100% knowing he is the only one who won't let us down or leave us, that i took the children to San Antonio this christmas to find the right house once and for all. There was no point in spending christmas at home, buying them presents that they wouldnt be able to take out with them in a few months.

We arrived at the airport, and hailed a taxi to take us to the airport. It wasa female driver called Sonia who turned out to be an absolute heaven sent angel the whole week, having knowledge of the area and schools etc.

We met up with the wonderful earth angel Pliny the estate agent and set off to find our house.

The first day we went to see 7 beautiful houses that the kids would happily of lived in but it didnt match out drawing, so the answer was no.

The second day, we met up with Pliny in his office and he said he had been up late adding more properties to the list for us. I looked at the one on his screen and said I could feel it was going to be a positve day today. 8 more properties to go and see, so we set off immediately.

The first house we got to, I looked at it and thought it was amazing, but i got out the car, saw all the girls getting out and falling in love with it instantly so i said, " but its not the one - it doesnt look like the drawing at all - dont get excited"

Well.......... I walked in the house and loved it.... walked to the kitchen and nearly collapsed. it was the kitchen I had been dreaming of. I went straight to the door to the utility room that was in my dream to double check and promplty burst into tears. I was walking in the kitchen that Dave had been showing me for months. I hadnt even seen the rest of the house, I didnt know there was an upstairs at this point. All the kids jumped up and down and were asking if we could have it. I walked outside to the "yard" - not garden lol - and Stephie said, " Mummy, look the back of the house its just like your picture!!"

She was right. Trust Dave to do that to me :) :) Always liked to joke...

The people we bought from were such a lovely couple. So helpful and have even helped me kit it out with furniture that they cant take with them. I said to them that I have been dreaming of their kitchen since august and they explained to me that august was when they completely refitted it to the way it is now !!!!!!!

We spent the rest of the week in the hotel, getting to know our new town and spent the entire time in a completely different part to where we visited in August for my work. We thought we knew the town , but realised last time, we only touched on a quarter of it. We found whole new shopping centres, museums, walks and we even hotted up on the history and loved it !!

We had a christmas tree the size of my foot, on an upturned rubbish bin in the hotel room and Father Christmas still managed to find us. Christmas dinner in a restaurant for the first time ever was brilliant  - no brussel sprouts :)

When we were leaving, Daniel said, " Mummy Im going to miss it here. I want to stay."

That made all of his sisters and mummy very very happy.

Here's hoping, Team Faulkner has found a place where we can start to be happy again. As long as we have each other, we are going to be fine.

It has been so emotional, hearing my Daves voice every step of the way and doing as he is telling me on such a grand scale on the other side of the world. But we are still very much together, he has brought amazing people to help us and knowing he is taking us to a new start that is right for US is overwhelming. I have had to sneak off to the toilets to have a little cry every now and then, but I have been proud of myself for achieving a week away with the kids on my own and my God am I so proud of them ! I really do have the best children in the world.

Happy Christmas everyone xxx